Many young teens and pre-teens stay home alone after school. This is
not a new situation. Mothers have worked outside the home for decades. Parents
are concerned but feel they have few alternatives. Middle school kids are
too old for babysitters, and although most communities have after-school
programs and community centers, some are too costly, and many teens do not
want to participate in an organized program after a long day at school. Still,
preparation is critical and there are many things to consider if you are
thinking about allowing your child to remain home alone after school.
How old is old
enough?
How old should your youngster be before he or she is allowed to stay
home alone? It depends more on the child's level of maturity than his
chronological age. Most children age 12 to 16 are capable of cognitive problem
solving and decision-making.
You will have to assess your child's level of readiness and decide if
he or she is capable of self-care. For example, has the child shown maturity
and responsibility in other ways? How are her grades? Does she generally
follow the rules you have set?
State Laws
As a general rule of thumb, a school-age child may be left home alone
if she has the ability to react safely in an emergency, but in some states,
it is an offense to leave a child under a specific age alone. Be sure to
check out the laws in your state regarding this issue.
Younger
siblings
Another controversial issue is that of leaving younger siblings in the
care of teens. It's okay for teens to watch younger siblings, as long as
they're able to assume the responsibility.
Your
neighborhood
Is your neighborhood generally safe and relatively
crime-free? Is there a responsible adult available in case of an
emergency?
Long-term
effects
The impact being home alone has on the child depends on many variables,
and especially on the child in question. If they are truly developmentally
ready for the experience, then it seems logical to me that the child's sense
of independence might be enhanced. If they are not yet ready or if they have
a bad experience being left alone, though, it could have the opposite effect.
As for feelings of security, if the child knows procedures they should follow
when answering the phone, answering the door, using the Internet safely,
and using the telephone in times of emergency, they may be able to make it
through the experience feeling secure. It's a hard call that should be based
on a child-by-child basis.
Home Safety
Be sure your smoke alarms work, have fire extinguishers readily available
and ensure your kids know how to use them. If possible, install a caller
ID or telephone answering machine so your child can easily identify callers.
Instruct your child not to let anyone know he or she is home alone. Your
teen should be taught to never open the door to a stranger. If possible,
install a peephole, so your child can identify the person without opening
the door.
The Internet
The Internet provides our children with access to a world of knowledge
we couldn't even dream of when we were kids, but children must be monitored.
Since parents cannot be with their children all the time, strong rules are
an extra. It is necessary to outline rules for Internet surfing. If possible,
get a block to keep your child from accessing adult sites on the Internet.
Bookmark the sites your child is allowed to surf.
If you check the history when your child signs off, you can see where
he has been and you'll be able to verify that he or she is following the
rules.
Emergency Plan
Develop an emergency plan and role-play various situations so that your
child will be prepared to react quickly and correctly in an emergency. Review
with children what to do in case they are home alone in an emergency. Write
emergency phone numbers in a conspicuous place. Also post your work number
and numbers of stay-at-home neighbors that you trust. Make sure your street
address number is large and well-lit so emergency personnel can find your
home quickly.
Disaster
Preparations
Natural and man-made disasters sometimes occur and it is important for
children to know what to do in case it is necessary to evacuate or remain
indoors due to a disaster.
Your child needs to know who to contact if a disaster occurs that requires
evacuation. She needs to know how to tune in to emergency broadcasting
information and who to contact to get instructions and directions. She should
be instructed not to use 911 as a general inquiry line because 911 will be
jammed in a time of disaster. Maintain a family disaster supply kit with
essentials you will need in an emergency. Make a list of local emergency
numbers, work numbers, doctors' numbers and family numbers. Keep a copy by
the phone and in each family member's wallet.
Consistent
Rules
Tell your child what the rules are concerning use of the telephone and
Internet, and for friends and visitors coming to the house. Prepare your
child in advance for any eventualities that might arise. Develop an emergency
plan and role-play various situations so that your child will be prepared
to react quickly and correctly in an emergency.
You know your
child
You will know when she is mature enough to stay home alone. The decision
to leave a child at home alone should depend on the general safety of the
neighborhood, the child's level or readiness and the ability of the parents
to monitor in some way.
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