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Many young teens and pre-teens stay home alone
after school. This is not a new situation. Mothers have worked outside
the home for decades.
Parents are concerned but feel they have few
alternatives. Middle school kids are too old for babysitters, and
although most communities have after-school programs and community
centers, some are too costly, and many teens do not want to
participate in an organized program after a long day at school.
Still,
preparation is critical and there are many things to consider if you
are thinking about allowing your child to remain home alone after
school.
How old is old
enough?
How old should your youngster be before he or she
is allowed to stay home alone? It depends more on the child's level of
maturity than his chronological age. Most children age 12 to 16 are
capable of cognitive problem solving and decision-making.
You will have to assess your child's level of
readiness and decide if he or she is capable of self-care. For
example, has the child shown maturity and responsibility in other
ways? How are her grades? Does she generally follow the rules you have
set?
State Laws
As a general rule of thumb, a school-age child
may be left home alone if she has the ability to react safely in an
emergency, but in some states, it is an offense to leave a child under
a specific age alone. Be sure to check out the laws in your state
regarding this issue.
Younger siblings
Another controversial issue is that of leaving
younger siblings in the care of teens. It's okay for teens to watch
younger siblings, as long as they're able to assume the
responsibility.
Your neighborhood
Is your neighborhood
generally safe and relatively crime-free? Is there a responsible adult
available in case of an emergency?
Long-term effects
The impact being home alone has on the child
depends on many variables, and especially on the child in question. If
they are truly developmentally ready for the experience, then it seems
logical to me that the child's sense of independence might be
enhanced. If they are not yet ready or if they have a bad experience
being left alone, though, it could have the opposite effect.
As for
feelings of security, if the child knows procedures they should follow
when answering the phone, answering the door, using the Internet
safely, and using the telephone in times of emergency, they may be
able to make it through the experience feeling secure. It's a hard
call that should be based on a child-by-child basis.
Home Safety
Be sure your smoke alarms work, have fire
extinguishers readily available and ensure your kids know how to use
them. If possible, install a caller ID or telephone answering machine
so your child can easily identify callers.
Instruct your child not to
let anyone know he or she is home alone. Your teen should be taught to
never open the door to a stranger. If possible, install a peephole, so
your child can identify the person without opening the door.
The Internet
The Internet provides our children with access to
a world of knowledge we couldn't even dream of when we were kids, but
children must be monitored. Since parents cannot be with their
children all the time, strong rules are an extra. It is necessary to
outline rules for Internet surfing. If possible, get a block to keep
your child from accessing adult sites on the Internet. Bookmark the
sites your child is allowed to surf.
If you check the history when your child signs
off, you can see where he has been and you'll be able to verify that
he or she is following the rules.
Emergency Plan
Develop an emergency plan and role-play various
situations so that your child will be prepared to react quickly and
correctly in an emergency. Review with children what to do in case
they are home alone in an emergency. Write emergency phone numbers in
a conspicuous place. Also post your work number and numbers of
stay-at-home neighbors that you trust. Make sure your street address
number is large and well-lit so emergency personnel can find your home
quickly.
Disaster Preparations
Natural and man-made disasters sometimes occur
and it is important for children to know what to do in case it is
necessary to evacuate or remain indoors due to a disaster.
Your child needs to know who to contact if a
disaster occurs that requires evacuation. She needs to know how to
tune in to emergency broadcasting information and who to contact to
get instructions and directions. She should be instructed not to use
911 as a general inquiry line because 911 will be jammed in a time of
disaster. Maintain a family disaster supply kit with essentials you
will need in an emergency. Make a list of local emergency numbers,
work numbers, doctors' numbers and family numbers. Keep a copy by the
phone and in each family member's wallet.
Consistent Rules
Tell your child what the rules are concerning use
of the telephone and Internet, and for friends and visitors coming to
the house. Prepare your child in advance for any eventualities that
might arise. Develop an emergency plan and role-play various
situations so that your child will be prepared to react quickly and
correctly in an emergency.
You know your child
You will know when she is mature enough to stay
home alone. The decision to leave a child at home alone should depend
on the general safety of the neighborhood, the child's level or
readiness and the ability of the parents to monitor in some way.
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